Diaries
by Desslok
Summary: A series (perhaps) of diary entires of the senshi -- contains allusions of Shouj-ai content
1. Ami

"Ami" by Desslok  
  
-----------  
  
I suppose that I've always known that I was different. Maybe   
that is why it was not such a shock when I learned about my   
destiny. I'm certain that people assume it is because of my   
brain, but I don?t think so. I've always been intelligent, but   
there are lots of intelligent people in the world. Some people   
seem to think that grades are like a race or a sporting contest,   
but all you can ever measure yourself against is yourself. Sure,   
I've gotten caught up in competition before, but mostly, I study   
because I enjoy it and because I want to improve myself. Is   
there anything so different in that?  
  
The obvious question then is in what way am I different. I   
haven't really given it that much thought. Usually, I am much   
too busy reading or preparing for class, or spending time with my   
friends. Sometimes it is hard for me to remember that spending   
time with my friends is just as important as studying, but I   
think that is just because studying has become a habit over the   
years. It is much easier for Usagi to distract me now than it   
was right after we met. I am really very grateful to her for   
taking the time and effort to become my friend. She is so very   
important to me now, and not simply because she is my princess.   
In her own way, Usagi is much smarter than I am and has a lot to   
teach me about people.   
  
I can't imagine why I keep digressing like this. It's not like   
me at all. I think that I'm different from my friends because   
they are much more willing to throw themselves into whatever they   
are doing. No matter how immediate the situation, there is a   
part of me that must remain back to observe what is going on, so   
that I can learn from it. Minako or Usagi would surely chide me   
for this and tell me to 'just lighten up and enjoy the moment'   
but that is not something that's easy for me to do. One must   
always keep one's distance from the object being observed, after   
all. I think Rei or Makoto might understand better. Rei is also   
out of step with the world to some degree. I think she lives far   
more of her life in the spirit world than most of us realize. Of   
course, some years ago I would not even have believed in such a   
thing, but enough has happened to broaden my mind on such matters   
since.   
  
Makoto, I think she would understand, too. I have done some   
research on something odd that she said to me some time ago and   
discovered that there are a number of connections between Jupiter   
and Mercury. I have yet to ask Luna about these things, though.   
I never seem to remember to do so when I have the chance. Mako   
knows what it is like to be on the outside looking in. Mako   
knows what it is to be all alone in a crowded room.  
  
You understand, of course, that loneliness is not a problem for   
me. I respect my mother very much for the sacrifices she has   
made. She helps sick children, as I want to do someday. As long   
as I have a good book to read, I am never truly alone. I wish   
that Mako would read more, so that she wouldn't be lonely. She   
doesn't think we notice, and maybe the others do not, but I am   
very observant. I can see the pain in her eyes when we leave   
her. Maybe it would help for me to spend more time there,   
especially when mother has to work late. She is such a good   
friend, I think my very best friend. I don't want to see her   
hurting and company is always good. One should not try to   
distract oneself with things like cooking or martial arts to   
obscure deeper feelings of loneliness.   
  
Mako is really a very admirable person. I have so much respect   
for her. She is so strong and kind. Her cooking is simply   
divine. And she is so very beautiful. I am not unhappy with my   
own appearance, though truly I rarely think too much about it.   
Such things are only skin deep, as they say. But, how can anyone   
fail to notice the way her hair reflects the sunlight, or how the   
pink bow she wears sets off her emerald eyes and adds just the   
lightest sparkle to them. Her arms are so lean and strong, just   
made to wrap themselves around someone and hold me tight. I am   
really lucky to have her as a friend. Perhaps I can do something   
nice for her to show her how I feel about her. 


	2. Mamoru

The Prince of the Earth   
by Desslok  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here, solely my   
interpretations of them.  
  
--------------  
  
I've always gotten along better with women; even back in the   
orphanage all of my best friends were girls, especially after   
Fiore left. They just seem more real, more open, more in touch   
with themselves. Sure, you need your buds to go to the arcade   
with, to watch sports, to grab a brew at the pub, but, for me,   
I've always been closest to a woman.   
  
I wonder if that is because of who I am and what I am, my duties.   
Protecting women has always seemed natural, even before I donned   
the mask and rose. Helping them become something better, helping   
them realize the strength in themselves, to give back some of the   
confidence and assurance that our society seems to suck out of   
them at a young age. I suppose it is my destiny, but if so, it   
is a fate that sits loosely upon my shoulders. We are well-  
suited, my fate and I.   
  
Destiny has its rewards, as well. I suppose it possible that I   
would have met Usagi in the normal course of things, but being so   
much older than her, so different in the obvious ways, I doubt   
that we'd have ever gotten past those things to find our hearts   
in each other. I love her more than anything on this earth.   
What I love most about her is the things that are so obvious to   
all of us who love her, but which she just doesn't seem to know:   
her concern for everyone around her, not just her friends, but   
her enemies, even perfect strangers; her boundless hope and   
optimism; her belief that there is always good to be found and   
that love can heal all wounds, fix all problems, bring joy to   
everyone. I've seen the magic she's worked in the lives of   
others, not with tiara or scepter, but with a question, a   
sympathetic ear, her infectious laugh. Even when I was dating   
Rei, we'd spend more time talking about her than each other.   
  
Ahhh, Rei. I enjoy the looks I get from the others when she and   
I chat. They know we dated, they assume there is something   
there, some tinge of regret at what might have been. We joke   
about it over coffee some mornings. In some ways, Rei is my best   
friend, at those times when you need someone who is only a friend   
and nothing more. We suit each other that way. We both enjoy   
creating an air of mystery and intrigue around ourselves. My   
role lets me indulge in that quite often. Her profession suits   
her. After all, who is more mysterious than a virgin priestess.   
(Yes, virgin. We did not, never would have. She will when the   
time is right, I'm sure, but only with someone very special. And   
if he hurts her, I will hunt him down. If he is lucky, I will   
get to him before her friends do.)  
  
No, Rei isn't the one I might have chosen if Fate had left me to   
my own devices. Don't get me wrong! I love Usagi and do not   
regret in the least that my life has been bound to hers. There   
is no one who could make me happier or with whom I'd rather spend   
my life. But, I'm self-aware enough to realize that we aren't   
always attracted to those who are best for us and, really, Usagi   
isn't my type at all. No, I know which one would have captured   
my heart if Destiny had not intervened.  
  
You'll guess that it isn't Minako, since she is so similar to   
Usagi. I think, of all of them, Minako is the one I know the   
least. She came along later, after some of the bonds between   
myself and the others had begun to form. But, that said, she is   
still one of the closest people to me. They all are, of course.   
I suppose things might have been different if I had had my   
protectors, my 'senshi', but they were taken from me long before   
I was born and I am more comfortable with the friends I have now.   
Anyway, Minako. Blonde, boy-crazy, not too good in school, heart   
full of love, achingly beautiful to all who see her (though not   
really my type, like I said). Still, there are some crucial   
differences between her and my Usagi. Nothing better or worse,   
just different. For all of her crying and worry, Usagi is very   
secure in herself. She knows who she is, what she is capable of,   
she just needs to be reminded now and then. Minako, though, is   
more fragile, more precious. There is pain inside of her, pain   
and fear, which she masks very well under her Sailor V mask. She   
needs someone to love her, to help her find herself. Perhaps   
she is what Usagi would have been without me, or what I would   
have been without Usagi. I think I know who will fill that void   
in her, but she is young yet and I perhaps not quite ready to   
come to grips with certain things.   
  
Makoto is one of the sweetest girls, women, you could ever hope   
to meet. Some who know her, but not well, see a tough girl and   
assume that that is a shell around a sad, insecure soul longing   
for something else. They've stopped a few levels too soon. No,   
Makoto has had her share of pain and loss, but her toughness is   
not a ruse, not a defense. She is tough, but not hard. She   
gives of herself to others because she knows better than anyone   
how much such things can mean to a person who has lost something   
dear to them. She is secure in who she is, what her strengths   
and weaknesses are. And she is patient. Sometimes, you need to   
distance yourself from the one you love, when you are ready for   
something that they are not. It hurt me deeply when I had to   
push Usagi away, but she needed time to grow on her own, not in   
my shadow. We all need to learn to rely on ourselves, before we   
can be ready to give ourselves completely to others. Makoto   
knows this, learned it at an early age as I did. She'll wait and   
watch, confident that what she hopes and dreams of will come to   
pass. I think her time of waiting is almost done, if I can judge   
by the glances and confused sighs. Though we don't speak of it   
much, we both know. Makoto and I are very much alike. I have my   
Usagi. She will have hers soon.   
  
I indeed have my Usagi, my love, by my side. She kids me   
sometimes, though, because she knows. She is anything but   
stupid, especially about matters of the heart, and she loves to   
tease. She knows exactly who would have caught my eye. She   
knows who I idly daydream about from time to time, and I don't   
think it bothers her because she knows she has my heart. No more   
than it bothers me when I see her go all googly-eyed over my   
friend Motoki, or even Haruka, sometimes. I've always been   
drawn to a particular type of girl. Someone intelligent, someone   
simultaneously confident and ever so insecure, the ones who stand   
just at the edge of the life around them, observing quietly,   
waiting for their time to shine. I won't even mention the   
hair...little bobs like that totally undo me. In another world,   
I would strike up a friendship with her, study with her, share   
our interests in science and computers. Slowly, I would draw   
her out of her shell, confide my deepest longings to her and   
encourage her to do the same. Love would blossom, slowly,   
patiently, like a flower shooting through the hard soil of winter   
into the spring sunshine. And I would take her in my arms and   
hold her close and bask in the radiance of her smile. Ahhh,   
sweet Ami, it is fun to ponder what might have been. You are a   
wonderful friend, but I know inside myself how good it might have   
been. I am glad that Usagi loves you just as much as I do, or   
else I'd never hear the end of it about my little crush. I hope   
you find your prince someday and that he truly deserves you.   
  
----  
  
Usagi carefully set Mamoru's notebook back exactly as she'd found   
it. When she'd heard that he was doing introspective writing for   
a psychology class, she hadn't been able to resist a peek. He   
really was a sweet thing, so completely right about some things   
and so completely wrong about others.  
  
"Silly Mamo-chan," she thought, "Minako is no more delicate or   
fragile than any of us. And Makoto does indeed have a long-hidden   
love, but not for Mina-chan. I guess your little crush has put   
some blinders on you."  
  
Usagi knew it wouldn't be long. Indeed, there were shared   
glances and plaintive sighs. Just the thought of his expression   
when he found out that it who it really was that Makoto loved...  
  
"Usagi, why are you laughing so hard, and what are you doing at   
my desk?"  
  
"Nothing, dear, nothing at all. Just thought of something funny,   
but nothing you'd enjoy." And she continued laughing for quite   
awhile. 


	3. Makoto

"Makoto" by Desslok  
  
---------------  
  
Ok, right off, I just want you to know that I'm not good at this   
type of thing. The only reason I'm doing this is because someone   
very special gave me this blank book as a gift. See, I've barely   
written anything and already I'm probably doing it wrong. I'm   
not sure who "you" are supposed to be anyway. Are you me?   
People write in diaries to write to themselves, right? Who else   
would read it? Who'd want to? I'd better start again...  
  
Dear Diary... that's how it's supposed to go, right? So, I might   
as well start with today since I sure don't plan on writing my   
own biography. Today, we all had lunch at the Crown and then   
played video games. I played the Sailor V game mostly. Minako   
and Usagi played that racing game that they like. Ami played a   
little bit, but mostly read a book. Ami likes to read. She's   
always trying to get me to read more. I'm not sure why. I guess   
she gave up on that and decided to try to get me to write   
instead. Looks like it worked. Anyway, after awhile, Usagi and   
Minako decided to go shopping. I've never been as big a fan of   
shopping as they are, so I passed. Ami did, too. She came over   
to my place instead and we had tea. It was then that she gave me   
this present. It's not my birthday or anything, but she said she   
just wanted to do something nice for me.   
  
Oh, what the hell is the point of this anyway? I just went back   
and re-read what I've written and it almost put me to sleep, and   
it's my own life! I'm only doing it because Ami wanted me to.   
I'd do anything for her. This can't be the point, though.   
  
-----  
  
Dear Diary. I'm back. I decided to take a break and clear my   
mind, so I cooked up a few meals and froze them for later in the   
week. Cooking is a good way for me to sort things out. I   
thought about it and decided that diaries are supposed to be a   
way to share things that you can't share with anyone else. I   
mean, what's the point of describing my day every day? I've   
already lived it once, why write about it again later?   
  
So, share things... I like to share things. I share my cooking,   
my house... Why is it so hard to write it down? I only think   
about it all the time anyway. Ok, I'm going to take a deep   
breath and just do it....  
  
I LOVE AMI  
  
there...  
  
-----  
Dear Diary. I'm back again. I guess that was a little harder   
than I thought. It's just easier not to think about things, even   
the things I think about all the time. Does that make sense? I   
miss my mom and dad every single day, but I don't think about   
them very much. Every day, when I see her walking next to me,   
her nose in a book, totally absorbed by whatever she's learning,   
when I notice how she blushes so often or how her eyes scrunch up   
when she smiles, I ache inside, but I don't think about it.   
Thinking hurts. Writing hurts too, I think I'm getting a cramp   
in my hand. It feels good though. I love Ami. I love her.   
It's getting easier. Maybe they're right that shared burdens are   
easier to bear. I love her and I have for a long time now.   
  
I didn't know it, of course. Unlike Ami, I can be a little slow   
on the uptake. I think I first started to figure it out when I   
got to know Haruka. Michiru, too, I guess, but mostly Haruka.   
It hadn't really even occurred to me that a girl could love a   
girl till then. It's strange, you know (of course you do, you're   
me!).. I've always wanted to be a bride, to be a wife. I've   
always enjoyed making up fantasies about this guy and that, but,   
with her, it's the first time that I really felt it. I don't   
fantasize about her. She's above that. She makes me feel like   
there's more to me than there is... like I mean something, not   
just as a girl or a bride or even as Jupiter, but as a person.   
Like there's something in me that no one else sees, something   
very special. Sometimes I wonder if she's right, but then I   
remember that Ami is always right about everything. She's so   
smart, but she doesn't make you feel stupid like other smart   
people do. Sure, she gets on us to study more, but that's   
because she cares and she wants us to do well. She's good for   
us, and we're good for her cause it's not good to study all the   
time.   
  
I wonder why she studies so much. She already knows everything   
anyway. Maybe she just likes it, like I like cooking. But,   
sometimes I cook because I'm lonely, or because I need to get my   
mind off of something, or someone. Maybe it's the same way for   
her. I wonder who haunts her dreams the way she haunts mine...  
  
-------  
  
Dear Diary. It's been a couple days. She asked me if I was   
using you and I told her I was. She seemed happy about that,   
which made me happy too. I asked her what she wrote about, to   
make sure I'm doing it right, and she told me she wrote about her   
thoughts. Then, she asked me what I wrote. I blushed I think,   
cause I could feel my face get warm. Then, her face went red!   
That made me blush even more! I forget what I said. How can   
someone as brave as Sailor Jupiter is supposed to be be such a   
coward about something like this. I mean, she's my best friend.   
It was her who figured out about Haruka and Michiru, so she's not   
unfamiliar with the concept. I'm sure she'd understand. But, I   
don't want her to understand, to forgive me, to forget all about   
it and not let it affect our relationship. I don't want that. A   
little hope is better than knowing for sure.   
  
Sometimes I play with my own mind, seeing things that can't be   
there. Was she just staring at me? Is she standing just a   
little closer than necessary? Did her hand graze over mine just   
a little too long? I'd better stop this... I need to start on   
dinner anyway.  
  
-----  
Dear Diary. Am I supposed to be putting dates on this? Well,   
too late if I was.   
  
She asked me again about you, and I got to wondering why she's so   
interested. I don't think she'd use me as some sort of psych   
experiment, but I couldn't think of anything else.   
  
Anyway, I asked her point blank why she'd bought you for me. I   
was determined not to blush and I didn't, even when she did! She   
said it was important to share your feelings and that, for her,   
it was hard to share them with someone else. She said she   
thought that maybe I was the same as her in that way. She said   
that sharing feelings with a friend was probably better than   
sharing with them a book, but diaries were a good start. Ami   
loves books, but now that I think about it, it sounds like she   
was picking me over one. I can't imagine what's in there that   
she wants me to see, but I'm not dumb. There's something.  
  
-------  
Dear Diary. Enough is enough. I am Sailor Jupiter, damnit, and   
I'm not afraid of anything, even myself. I've been knocked down   
before and gotten up again. She'd never do that anyway, but I   
can't go on like this. My job is to protect and I can't do that   
if I'm all worked up all the time. She needs me and I'm not   
going to let my own fear prevent me from being there for her.   
  
I talked to Minako and she told me about something called an   
exchange diary. It's a diary that you pass back and forth with   
someone. Well, it's two books, but it's close enough. I can put   
2 and 2 together. Ami has something on her mind that she needs   
to share. That's why she bought this for me. It's up to me to   
take the next step.   
  
Ami, I'm glad I didn't take no for an answer. I'm sure you tried   
to say it at least once. I'm not real good with words, but I   
think that you wanted me to read your diary, that you wanted to   
share something with me. Maybe it's about Urawa, or maybe you're   
worried about exams. Maybe you miss your dad or you think your   
mom is working too much. I don't know what it is, but I want you   
to know that you're my best friend and you can share anything   
with me. Together, there's nothing we can't face.   
  
I'm pretty sure this isn't the best way to tell you about...   
well, what you read above. I hope you don't think that I did   
this just because I was afraid to say anything. I was, but   
that's not why I did it. I'm sure you feel kind of weird about   
it and I hope you won't not want to write back to me or talk to   
me. I love you, and that includes as my best friend. Nothing   
can ever come between us, if we don't let it.   
  
Just please, don't pretend you don't know. I can't stand that.   
I know I said hope is better than certainty, but I was wrong. If   
I'm going to move on, I need to talk about it. Writing about it   
has been good, but not good enough. I won't be mad and I promise   
to try not to be upset. Please don't be mad at me or scared of   
me. It's just how I feel.   
-----  
Oh, my dearest Mako, you are so right and so wrong about me. You   
give me too much credit. I didn't know why I felt so strongly   
about this. I just wanted to do something nice for you. But,   
you're right, of course. I see that now. You know me better   
than I know myself, because you aren't ashamed or afraid of me   
like I can be.   
  
I didn't even know I loved you till I read the words here. I   
must have known, deep inside, but I'd pushed it down so deep.   
You were right about why I study, but even I didn't know that   
until you showed it to me.   
  
I'm tempted to just write and write and pour out these feelings   
that I didn't even know I had, but I won't. Again, you are   
correct. Words and books pale in comparison to the joy of   
companionship, the joy of seeing you sitting across from me, the   
feel of your skin on mine as you hold my hand. I feel ashamed   
that my diary does not contain the same kind of self-awareness   
that this one does. I hope you are not reading and deciding that   
I don't love you because I do, oh how I do.   
  
I will end this here, so that I can go to you now. I hope it   
remains the last entry in here, because we need not share our   
emotions this way anymore. You can tell me anything, Mako, and   
now I know that I can do the same with you. 


	4. Rei

"Rei" by Desslok  
------------------  
  
My friends don't understand. I doubt they ever will. They visit   
the shrine; they help with things; sometimes they even join me in   
prayers or mediations, but they don't see the world that I see.   
  
The kami are all around us, all of the time. When I focus   
properly, when I hone my mind and spirit and lose myself in the   
world, I see them. During a rainstorm, Ami could explain about   
the collision of high and low pressure systems and the saturation   
point of air at different temperatures. Makoto could describe   
the power and feel of the lightning and the thunder. Minako   
could spout misquoted poems about the beauty of the rain and   
Usagi could whine about getting wet. None of them can see the   
thousands upon thousands of small water sprites happily diving   
from their home in the clouds to make a new life on the ground in   
the rivers and streams. If I seem distracted at times, it is   
because the world sings to me in a voice few others can hear.   
  
This is one of the reasons I always feel out of step with my   
friends. It is not fair of me to take that feeling out on Usagi,   
but I often do, if only because I know that she can take it, that   
she understands, even if she doesn't realize that she   
understands. I don't share their uniform, their school, or their   
world really. Mamoru understands, but I think it hurts Usagi to   
know how close he and I are. She knows how much he loves her,   
but I don't know if she understands how very much he respects   
her. Still, he is set apart from the rest of us by his age and   
his gender. Ami understands as well. She and I are so   
dissimilar in so many ways. She is grounded in the real world,   
the world of science and knowledge and practicality. I live in   
a world that she has only glimpsed in passing, from the corner of   
her eye. But, though we look in through different windows, we   
both stand apart and that gives us something very important in   
common.   
  
Lately, I've begun to suspect that perhaps Ami and I have more in   
common that we'd both realized. I see the shimmerings in her   
aura and the feelings flittering through her eyes as we sit in   
our meetings. It is my job to understand people, to ascertain   
their problems and concerns in a glance. Ami is in love. It is   
so easy for me to see visions related to others, so hard to see   
them for myself. The flame brought me an image of the delicate   
red cord that binds Ami to her beloved. Her feelings will be   
returned and I am happy for her. She deserves to be loved and   
cared for. Unfortunately, I cannot see the cord wrapped around   
myself. I do not know if it leads to the one who haunts my   
dreams. I will just have to wait and see where life takes me.   
There is time. We have all the time in the world.   
  
I used to worry about being the leader. I used to believe that   
my purity, my insight, my strength of will and character had   
earned me the right to that title. Now, I know differently.   
Usagi leads us in one sense. We would all die for her. We all   
have. Her innocence and love surpass anything you could ever   
imagine. They will remake the entire world in time.   
  
I think it is because she is so full of love for everything and   
everyone that it is so easy to love her in return. We all do. I   
know that some suspect that I have deeper feelings for her.   
Perhaps I do, but if so, no more than all of us do. You cannot   
swear your body, your life, your very soul to someone and then   
deny them your love or your caress. If she asked it, any of us   
would gladly fall into her arms and lie there for all eternity.   
But, in doing so, she would hurt those not asked and thus, she   
never will. We all deal with it in different ways. Haruka   
flirts with her outrageously, or at least she did before she   
began to fear it might hurt Michiru. Makoto mothers her. Minako   
treats her like a twin sister. Ami instructs her. I bicker with   
her. And she responds perfectly to each of us in turn. She is   
truly amazing, our princess, our queen.  
  
Minako is also our leader. In many ways, she is a combination of   
all of our best traits. She can love as purely as Usagi. She   
can be as strong as Makoto, as clever in battle as Ami, and   
matches me in terms of will and determination.   
  
I remember once when Mina decided she wanted to visit my school.   
She made things...interesting, as did an evil spirit there. Some   
time after that incident, I meditated deeply on her. The most   
renowned artist could not do the vision justice. Nymphs and   
fairies surround her at all times, scattering rose petals at her   
feet and pixie dust in her hair. The kami have truly blessed   
her, for she is indeed the goddess of love and beauty. She is   
the most beautiful woman I have ever known and I can still taste   
her skin on my lips from that afternoon. Where she walks,   
flowers and sunbeams sign in praise and glory.   
  
I wish she could see herself as the world sees her, as I see her.   
The only thing I do not see when I look at her is a knot of red.   
I can think of only two explanations for this. I hope that the   
happier one is right, but only time will tell. We have all the   
time in the world, after all. 


	5. Minako

Author's note: This continues the series of first person POV   
stories involving the sailor senshi that I have started. I own   
nothing but my own words and my take on the characters others   
have created.   
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"Minako" by Desslok  
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I am worried about the team. No one else seems to be worried,   
but it's my job. We all follow our princess, but I'm the   
leader. I'm worried about this relationship between Ami and   
Makoto. They haven't admitted anything yet, but it is really   
obvious that they are an 'item' now. Maybe I'm the only one who   
sees it because of who I am, of what I represent.   
  
Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for both of them. They both   
suddenly seem at peace. It's just that love isn't our first   
concern. Our primary responsibility has to be to protect the   
Moon Princess, not just because we love Usagi completely, but   
because she represents the salvation of everything. We have all   
died for her. We must all be willing to again. Will Ami and   
Makoto be willing to sacrifice the lives of each other to save   
Usagi? They have to be.   
  
It's kind of ironic, the 'goddess of love' concerned because two   
of her very best friends are in love. I should be happy for   
them. Maybe I'm just jealous. A long time ago, one of the bad   
guys told me that my love would always be hopeless, that I'd   
never escape from my duty. Maybe I'm upset because Ami and   
Makoto have found a way to marry love and duty. We've all known   
for awhile now that we'll be together forever. Maybe if they've   
found a way, the rest of us can, too.  
  
I wonder sometimes if it could ever be possible for one of us to   
love someone truly who wasn't part of our 'circle.' I mean,   
love is about shared experiences, common bonds, two people   
sharing their lives together. I see some boy on TV or at school   
and think, 'wow, he's hot,' but can I really see myself spending   
eternity with some hot boy? Thinking someone is cute is not   
love. Love is like what I have with my friends, but deeper.   
Just last week, I spent the night over at Rei's house. Usagi and   
her family were on vacation and Ami and Makoto made excuses not   
to come over. (Now I know why!) Rei and I just spent the whole   
night talking, doing each other's hair, watching TV and reading   
together. We even went out for a walk in the garden underneath   
the stars. I remember standing there next to her and thinking   
that I could spend my entire life just like that. I think that's   
love.  
  
None of this solves the problem though. I'm not even sure there   
is a problem. I'll just have to talk to Ami and Makoto about it   
directly. Besides, once the cat is out of the bag there's no way   
to get it back into the stable! Then, I can tease them non-stop!   
It serves them right for being so kawaii! 


End file.
